Now lockdown is starting to lift, I’ve started slowly trying to reconnect with friends who (due to no fault of anyone’s other than the pandemic!) have become a little more distant than I’d like. It’s only natural, right? You go from seeing friends every week to suddenly being in lockdown, not able to leave the house and totally lacking in social contact.
At the start of lockdown, we were all Zoom quizzes and Whatsapp voice notes, but as the last year and a half has dragged on, I think we’ve all become a little complacent. And, even when I do make the effort, I’m only working and spending time alone really, so there’s not much to say!
So, if you’re in a similar position to me, I’ve put together 5 tips to help you reconnect with distant friends.
Friends can grow distant for a number of reasons – perhaps it’s just the effects of lockdown taking its toll, or perhaps its due to a bigger issue. Either way, it’s important to be self aware and acknowledge what might be causing the problem.
If there is a fallout, it’s crucial to take full responsibility. You need to show a full level of remorse and a deep sense of regret for what happened. Making mistakes in life is sometimes inevitable, but you need to be honest about why it happened.
Accept that you made a mistake and a poor choice. Being honest is the best way to be – especially with your friends. See if you can talk it through openly together and ensure you take responsibility without trying to justify your actions.
It’s important to show your authentic self to those around you. Unfortunately, you might be sheltering yourself in fear of getting stigmatized. Hiding things you don’t like causes resistance in you and make you unhealthy mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Open up to your friends if something is bothering you about yourself. Friends are there to help support and guide you when you need it, and being transparent about yourself is the only way to do that.
When you grow distant with friends, things might feel a little awkward when you start to reconnect. If a lot of time has passed, you might not even know where to start!
When getting back in touch with old pals, you need to be realistic and expect things to be a bit awkward at first – you can’t expect things to go back to normal right away! Some expectations are unrealistic and unreasonable.
Communicate clearly what you want from your reconnecting with your friends and give each other space and time to figure things out.
Some of the expectations you can have include:
As the past year has proven, seeing people in person and affectionate touch is a fundamental human need. Studies have indicated that a touch is a form of nonverbal communication that may mean happiness, tenderness, love, or compassion.
Now that we can see people face to face safely again, it’s important to try and take those chances when you can and when you feel comfortable. There’s really nothing like reconnecting with a distant friend in person – a Zoom call just isn’t the same!
When it’s safe and when you both feel comfortable, try adding some physical touch, too. I’m not saying you should be all over your friends, but a hug goodbye or a pat on the shoulder really can make a world of difference.
Become Workout Partners
Now that gyms are open again, individuals are unrolling yoga mats, hitting health clubs, and riding on the fitness journey together. It’s time to think about what other exercises can benefit you besides your health and overall well-being.
Have you ever thought of inviting your friend for a workout session? There’s a saying that friends who sweat together stay together! Participating in physical activity makes you feel more satisfied and can help build a connection with your workout friend that you don’t have with others.
Sharing fitness goals, going to the gym or even taking a weekend walk together can boost the quality of your relationship. Working together also makes the fitness routine fun.
You can lift weights rhythmically with your friend or match the running or walking pace. Such activities create nonverbal mimicry or matching. Nonverbal mimicry makes you feel emotionally attuned to each other.
Your friendship could be struggling because the initial bond is no longer there. Maybe you have lost touch due to distance, lack of communication, or betrayal. This makes you disconnect from your loved one.
Busy work, hectic schedules, disease, and mental issues are some of the problems that can keep you away (emotionally) from your friend. But, regardless of the nature of the issues, there is a solution.
It might seem extreme, but with a professional therapist, you’re assured of a listening ear and non-judgemental space. Counselling helps you learn how to communicate with kindness and empathy. As a result, it drastically improves harmony in the friendship.
Working with a professional can increase accountability and set healthy boundaries. More so, therapy helps you reconnect, strengthen the shared bond and find common ground for a more supportive connection.
A happy, healthy friendship is a mixture of various elements- including self-love, acceptance, respect, and compromise. Mending a broken relationship takes work, and a therapist can help you. So face the challenges head-on, accept responsibilities, be ready to change behaviours and attitude, and enjoy reconnecting with your friends!
Full time I'm an ambitious Head of Marketing and Communications in the luxury industry. Part time, I'm an enthusiastic British Fashion, Beauty and Lifestyle blogger and YouTuber from Manchester, UK. This blog has been my outlet for the past 7+ years, and as a longstanding, Award-winning blogger I take the most enjoyment from creating content I truly love and believe in. All authentic. Always.